Solacier
by Agnes Jane
Summary: How Darryl may have sought comfort from Carol after Merle's death.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own or profit from the Walking Dead

 **Chapter one:**

She was lying on the bottom bunk in her clammy cell, drifting listlessly somewhere between consciousness and sleep. Despite her exhaustion she could not still her thoughts from the events of the past few days for her mind to take that final step into much needed slumber. His pain played on her mind and she struggled to find relief from his as well as her own grief in losing their last bond to family in such an ugly manner. She gave up her fight with chasing the desired state of unconsciousness and let her thoughts tumble through her mind in any manner her brain chose to throw at her. She did not hear him enter her cell and only noticed his presence when she heard the scrape of his bow against the wall. She sat up to light the candle next to her bunk, emitting a soft glow once the flame flickered into life. He watched her carefully from his position at the door as she sat with her bare legs dangling over the side of the bunk. He was covered in sweat and dirt, earned from burying his brother's remains within the prison's small cemetery. This task he did on his own after refusing assistance from all who gladly offered to help him lay his brother to rest, even gruffly refusing her aid.

Gradually, he moved closer and carefully sat down next to her with their legs almost touching. She sat there providing him with the space and silence to gather his thoughts to say what he had come to say. He lent forward and placed his head in his hands, it was then she noticed his trembling as he was waging a quiet struggle to keep a hold of himself. She was at a loss of how to comfort him as he disliked being touched even by her, however instinct took over, being careful not startle him she placed her hand softly on his back, he tensed slightly but did not flinch. She held her hand there feeling the sweat that had soaked through his thin shirt from the exertion of digging. Tentatively, she started to rub his back drawing a hitch in his breath as he continued to silently tremble. She moved that inch closer with their legs now touching and raised her hand to his shoulder gently bringing his head to her chest cradling him as she would a distressed child. He did not recoil nor did he push her away from this close contact as he lost his fight to keep control of himself with his body now shaking with each new sob that broke through. She warily leaned back against the bunk with his head nestled on her chest, rubbing his back, rocking rhythmically side to side as she quietly started humming.

He moved then, throwing his arms around her drawing her closer and holding her tightly as his tears began to fall without restraint, sobbing into her chest. She laid there with her chin resting on top of his head softly humming in a feeble attempt to provide him comfort, despite her own discomfort with being barely dressed, with his face pressed between her breasts, his weight pinning her to the bunk. She wanted to provide what relief she could from his suffering and did not have the heart or strength to disturb him. Being in such close contact with a man brought back violent memories of how vicious men could be. She fought to clear those and concentrated on humming the tune she had hummed to her daughter, rubbing his back in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

Eventually, he quietened and his trembling slowly stilled but he did not move from his position lying on top of her. She thought he had finally drifted off to sleep as she continued with her gentle ministrations. Her chest was damp from his tears and she felt his scruff scratch and tickle her skin which was an unusual sensation one she'd never experienced before. His head began to move ever so slightly increasing this strange sensation against her skin as he pressed his face even further into the valley between her breasts. At first she thought he was seeking a more comfortable position using her chest as a pillow but then she felt his chin subtly begin to work against the edge of her singlet. Fighting the panic that bubbled up inside her with such intimate contact she continued, as she was, cradling him and humming. He slowly managed to free her breast by dragging the fabric down with his chin. He stopped for a moment and she could feel his slight breath before he began to gently nuzzle her. Fear surged within her, she did not want him this way, out of a need to forget rather than a desire to be with her but she swallowed those feelings and concentrated on being there with him providing what little solace she could.

His nuzzling slowly became more insistent and morphed into suckling as he brought his arm around from underneath her, inching the thin strap of her singlet down her shoulder and tenderly began to knead her other breast. She kept humming, now to calm herself and to find the courage she needed to not push him away. His breathing changed as his body began timidly rocking against hers and she could now feel his need. His suckling turned into a series of kisses delicately placed on her breast and gradually moving up her chest onto her neck. His other hand moved from her back down to her hip as he settled his head on her shoulder kissing the sensitive skin behind her ear. He stopped kneading her breast and stroked down towards her sleeping shorts, she held her breath briefly when she thought he was going to remove them. However, he shifted slightly placing his weight on his knees lifting himself up as he undid his pants and unceremoniously shoved them down and then settled himself back against her continuing with his gentle movements.

His hand moved back to the top of her shorts, his movements where slow and deliberate, he ran his fingers around the band, again lifting up onto his knees, his hand on her hip raising her with him, as he gradually maneuvered her shorts off her hips down to her knees. She laid there pliant in his hands not willing to say anything or move for fear of startling him or releasing the terror of a man's touch that rumbled deep within her. She would give him what he needed, that was a small price to pay for all he had done for her when she had needed him. Still humming, she braced herself, expecting him in that moment to take what he wanted, he did not, and tenderly resumed his rocking, now with the friction of skin on skin.

He stayed like this for an age timidly moving to the hushed tones of her humming. Gradually, his momentum increased in intensity as he positioned himself to ease into her. She moved her legs then, slipping one leg carefully out of her shorts draping her calf over the back of his knee then placing her other calf over the back of his thigh, her whole body now cradling him. Only then did he move forward and sink into her. She ran one hand up his back and into his hair softly massaging his scalp as his breathing sharpened with his movements progressively becoming more determined. She wished she could say this was bringing her the pleasure she longed for but this was about his need so she channeled her love for him to fight her past and provide him this short respite from his pain. His breathing was coming in gasps and his grip on her tightened as his pace quickened, he cupped her shoulder with his chin as his whole body tensed with purpose, softly groaning his completion. Eventually, his actions and breathing lulled as he became silent once more, he did not pull away from her but settled in, his head pillowed against her chest once more. This time he did drift off to sleep nestled on top of her as she still quietly hummed, running her fingers through his hair as tears soundlessly slipped over her cheeks.

He woke up with a start, his head still foggy with sleep as it dawned on him where he was and whose warm body was beneath him with his bare arse hanging out of his pants. He did not move at first for fear of waking her as the weight of what he had done settled into his bones. As gently as he could he rolled off her onto the side, slowly untangling her hand from his hair, all the while listening for any changes in her breathing indicating that he had disturbed her from her sleep. He shifted to sit up on the bunk bringing his legs over the side, then standing to pull up his pants. He looked down on her and even in the dwindling candle light he could see the consequences of what he had done. She was laying there with her shorts hanging off one leg, her singlet roughly pulled down over her breasts, covered with traces of the dirt and grime he had brought with him, with some of the evidence of his actions dried on her inner thigh.

He stood there staring at her, should he wake her and beg her forgiveness, should he leave without saying anything, should he just sit and wait for her to wake up and take whatever punishment she would throw at him. His mind was reeling, oh god, oh god, oh god how could he have done that to her, used her without any thought. She was the only person he truly cared about and he had just taken her like that, used her like a faceless whore, hell he didn't even have the decency to remove his boots. His brain raced away with the ramifications of what he had done ruining any chance that he may have had with her. Not only had he lost his brother he had now lost her as well. He couldn't bear it anymore, he lent down and ever so timidly put her shorts back on, tucked her breasts back into her singlet and covered her with the crumpled sheet. He kissed her forehead as a silent apology and snuffed the candle out between his fingers before picking up his bow and fleeing from the scene of his crime hoping that one day she may be able to forgive him.


End file.
